


Like a mockingbird (avenge yourself: leave everything behind)

by maplewoodmoth



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26951197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maplewoodmoth/pseuds/maplewoodmoth
Summary: Where Tex comes back as Epsilon instead of Church, because she has never been allowed to define herself without him but like by fucking god she's gonna start.And she goes by a bunch of names. Allison. Tex. Beth. Beta. Epsilon. Texas. Agent. Merc.She's looking for a face that fits and she's trying to find one that suits her and is entirely hers.She's scrubbing clean her existence of him (the director, but not Church, never Alpha) piece by piece. But she's coming back for her boys, so you better watch out.
Relationships: Agent Tex & the Reds and Blues, Agent Texas | AI Program Beta & Agent Washington, Leonard L. Church | AI Program Alpha & Agent Texas | AI Program Beta, Leonard L. Church/Agent Texas | AI Program Beta
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Like a mockingbird (avenge yourself: leave everything behind)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Asphodel Meadows](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076194) by [Hinn_Raven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hinn_Raven/pseuds/Hinn_Raven). 



> Look, I reread Asphodel Meadows by Hinn_Raven (it’s amazing and probably one of my favorite fics ever, please go check it out!! Also check out everything Hinn has written, she’s phenomenal!!) and couldn’t stop thinking about Tex coming back as Epsilon instead of Church, rather than her coming back as an additional fragment of Epsilon. And thus this was born. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy what I have so far- let’s see where this goes!

Tex has been a myth; a story; a memory, for so long that to know who she really is- is something almost out of a dream. 

She’s got one hand on her gun and another on a bottle of rum, the sweet coconut kind. And she’s hitting it back like there’s no tomorrow. Nobody in this little joint of a bar would mess with her, not in this backwoods, backwater planet that she’s found herself on. 

Maybe it’s Chorus, maybe it’s another planet. But Epsilon/Beta/Tex/Allison/Beth found herself aware, a mess of synthetic fibers and silicon nerves. And of course, it’s because of the boys. Either way, she’s woken up, not quite human- not quite robot but some mesh of AI and carbon/silicon synthetic fibers. It’s a familiar face that looks back in the reflection of the bar top: not the face that she had before- before everything- but the face of the woman that has been built and broken and rebuilt from the ground up. The body Sarge had made for her has brown eyes so deep and dark that she sometimes thinks light doesn’t reflect from them. She thinks she likes it. Looking like a dead woman is exhausting sometimes. So she does her best not to.

She is a story, a myth, a memory: intertwined with that of Alpha. They are/were/are Alpha and Beta: two halves of a whole being. She can’t stand it (she loves it, it’s all she knows) that familiarity- that existence that twines its way around her core. She hates it and loves it in equal measures and so she hates it/hates it/hates it. 

But now she’s alone, something not quite human, something not quite robot, but something authentic- in between. And well, she’s never done well at existing to fit one standard, so maybe it's good that she doesn’t fit any galactic standards now.

Of course, that means she’s unique, and if there’s anything that people love/fear/love in measure, it’s things that are different. And Tex is different. 

She’s still not sure whether it’s a good thing. (Most days, she knows that it’s not).

**

When she comes back, as Beta, as Epsilon, as Tex, as Allison, as Beth, as Agent, as Mercenary.  
Well.  
It’s confusing as fuck, she’s not gonna lie. 

Who _is_ she? 

Herself. 

But what does that _mean?_

**

Thing is. The THING IS. Tex loves her boys. Each and every one of their idiot hearts she adores and wouldn’t change for the world, even if she has the frequent need to kick their annoying asses frequently and often. 

But the thing is, she remembers EVERYTHING: she doesn’t know everything, no. But she has all these memories of people she both has been and never was. 

Waking up as Epsilon, being called Epsilon, when she _knows_ that it’s wrong, that she’s not Epsilon, but she’s not Beta either- it’s probably the worst moment of her not-quite-life. Her circuits spark and zap, and her non-existent neurons start firing, and she’s. Present. Where before she wasn’t. 

It’s _awful._

The boys are expecting Church, expecting Alpha. Expecting their _friend._ (She doesn’t know what she is to them, but to her, they’re her boys. Not quite her family- she won’t let herself process the words, deletes that line of coding before it forms- but hers.) 

They’re expecting Epsilon/Church/Alpha and instead they get Epsilon/Tex/Beta. 

She’s not Church. She never was and never will be, but being awoken and being expected to be him, to make up for her existence being intertwined with his? 

That _bites. That_ makes her **angry.**

**

She remembers being Alpha, like she remembers being Beta: but what was Tex without Church? Leonard without Allison?

Between the two of them, between the two memories, she has always been the most solid. Even if one was an ideal and the other was a disappointment. 

Between the two of them, she has always been the more present. 

Church may have let her memory go, let Beta rest and die and disappear- but Tex? Tex has never let anything go easy. 

Least of all herself. 

**

She wakes up in a cave, remembering nothing but rage, and despite that, still ends up being treated with nothing but kindness by Caboose. 

Epsilon comes online remembering nothing but ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON, and so ALLISON she is. Allison she becomes. But Allison isn’t who the boys remember, and so she becomes Tex. But Tex isn’t who the Reds and Blues want, they want Alpha, they want _Church._ And that is someone she can never be. 

So Sarge builds her body based on recollections and her specifications and memories _memories_ **memories.**

And once she has that? 

She RUNS. 

**  
And that leaves her where she is, alone on a planet, with a bottle of rum and her gun, and **r a g e.** So much rage. It’s familiar. Like Omega, like Sigma, like Theta; all emotions she remembers having as Alpha, but never being. 

Epsilon needs to reorient herself. Figure out who she is beyond Alpha and it **h u r t s,** to realise that he’s gone, and so are the other fragments- that she’s the only lonely one left. 

She needs to find someone who remembers her, KNOWS her. Remembers her as Tex/Beta, Alpha, Epsilon. 

She needs to find a Freelancer. 

She needs to find Agent Washington. 

**


End file.
